Keep holding on. ♪
Sheldon Cooper is Tumblr.
except tumblr can’t do math
What’s 1 + 1 ?
i never realize how much i swear until i’m in a situation where i can’t
Is there anything you don’t like about David Lyons? x
Tonight I let my new housemate talk for fifteen minutes about how bisexuality isn’t a valid sexual orientation and that they’re just greedy and have no standards and need to pick one. And then I told her I was bisexual. The back-pedalling was so messy and hilarious.
*prepares party popper*
*nervously shakes the party popper*
*slowly falls asleep with the party popper*
*has a wonderful night with the party popper*
*gets married to the party popper*
It’s a beautiful evening in February. My wife and I are sitting at the fireplace, when suddenly a terrible image appears on the screen of my computer.
My wife looks at me. As I look in her terrified, cardboard eyes, filled with tears, she takes a deep breath, before saying with her shivering voice “It’s what you’ve always wanted, dear. Do it.” My hands start shaking and a lone tear rolls down my cheek. “I can’t, honey. I’m not like that anymore.” “I will do it.” a small voice behind us says. As I turn around, my eyes cross with my son; our son. “You don’t have to do this, Benedict.” I say, as I hold his hands.
Ignoring what I told him, young Benedict Popper-Are Optional holds my wife’s cardboard body in one hand, and her long, beautiful string in the other. With tears in my eyes, I turn my head away. A loud pop sounds behind me and I watch in terror as I see my wife’s confetti spread across the room.
"It’s what you’ve always wanted, dad…" my son says, putting his small, cardboard hand on my shoulder. "Yes," I say, "but not like this… Never like this…"
what the actual fuck
Realizing you have homework
why can I relate to this gif
- YEAH GIRL I’MMA TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND
- put them in a closet for you cause it’s polite
- YEAH BABY THAT’S RIGHT IMMA PICK YOU UP AND
- carry you to your bed cause baby I know you tired
- OH GIRL IMA SLAP DAT
- broom out of your hand because you’ve had a long day at work, and i can do it myself.
- WAIT TILL YOU SEE MA
- collection of politely worded love letters.
WHY ARE YOUR COUNTIES/STATES SO NEATLY DIVIDED!?
IN ENGLAND IT IS WIGGLY LINE WORLD:
AND THEN YOU LOOK AT AMERICA AND IT’S LIKE
They’re called LIBERTY SQUARES